WIP Wednesday
Every Wednesday, I share a recent paragraph I touched while writing or editing. No exceptions! Redactions for spoilers.
Let’s take a look at this wonderful excerpt from Book 2, during the calm before the storm in a beloved local bar…
By this point in the night, most of the large tables were alive with animated conversations fueled by alcohol and detached from whatever was happening on stage. Guida’s voice cut through the chatter like a small ship masterfully navigating a heaving ocean. “Good evening Rau’s. My name is Guida Swan, a-and I do acoustic music about love, and war. Find me on Soundscape-Leros.” She nodded at a few people in the crowd who had stopped their conversations to look at her. Most of the bustle across the room carried on. “This first one is called Americo. It’s about Americo Savaria, a young man killed by the Atayuman Royal Army during the revolution, here in this city ten years ago.”
The bar went completely silent. Ponta could hear the quiet breathing of the people at the table next to them, and he readied himself to leap out of his chair and tackle anyone who might approach the stage. Guida flicked her wrist a few times before her nails made contact with the guitar strings. Her strums were calm but complex; her fingers moved almost independently, creating a grounding line for the higher-pitched twangs.
“We crept from the room,
The smell of rain in the air,
And there in the street,
Our nightclothes blowing in the gale,
And you looked up at me,
Said the world would be ours.”
She sang on, voice growing stronger with every verse as she set the stage for the night of the revolution, the disquiet traveling through the city as it weathered the biggest monsoon of the summer, most of its citizens innocent to the growing split in the government and the violence that was about to spill over. Some of the musical acts that evening had tried to be deep or profound, but nothing had captivated the crowd quite like a gentle song about the darkest day in modern Atayuman history.
“And all this time I hear those shots,
Like thunder in the distance…”
Guida’s motions were large and aggressive, and the notes were louder, but her voice remained calm, almost soothing. She sang of Americo directing people off the main road and into his neighborhood, away from the old army base where a gunfight raged.
“Soaked to the bone,
Surrounded by fear and confusion,
And you went in search of the crying,
‘Cause you said that no one else would,
And I was too afraid to go.”
Guida strummed with all her might, and then she relaxed, plucking carefully with a new melancholy expression on her face. She sang softly.
“And all this time I hear those shots,
Like thunder in the distance,
And my, oh my,
I can still smell the blood in your hair.”
Her voice withered and she barely seemed to be able to sing the next verse.
“In my dreams,
You’re still alive, you’re still alive,
And I know that it’s a lie,
But it’s one I like, it’s one I like.”
Ponta heard someone sniffle at a table behind them. Guida’s hand slipped and she played a flat note but recovered a moment later. No one seemed to react; many stared introspectively at the wall or at their drinks.
The song is based on:
“Nightclothes” by Radical Face, ©2016 Concord Music Publishing LLC